Apolitical Staples

Well, then, they better have a plan for the bill they put forth, because they’re the ones who put it forth.

I, for one, am really ticked at the Liberals irresponsible behaviour in the House of Commons, to put a bill forth without any plan, or any ideas as to how to go about implementing it.

“It’s altogether impossible. I’m not ruling anything out.”

I think there’s a negative missing …

I know that Stephane Dion has struggled in his early days as Liberal leader but he is still leader, right?

Yes. but only by title.

“I know that Stephane Dion has struggled in his early days as Liberal leader but he is still leader, right?”

Well…not according to some recent tv commercials.

The conservative bench can start asking the Liberals the following question: if there was an election in a month’s time who is running over there?

Mister Speaker, I rise today to announce measures that my government must take to comply with Bill C288, otherwise known as the “Pablo Rodriguez Law of Unintended Consequences”.

In order to comply with the Bill and Kyoto, it is necessary to take some drastic measures to either reduce emissions ort buy credits from other signatory nations of the Kyoto Protocol who do not need to reduce their emission but get to sell these credits.

Canada got hosed at Kyoto. Jean Chretien’s Liberal government signed Canada to a treaty that means we must reduce our standard of living in order to comply. Bill 288 further obligates Canada to reduce its economy in order to comply and because of the way the Bill is worded, our Government must achieve the 2012 targets within 180 days of the Bill being granted Royal Ascent, so we must act NOW.

I am instructing a number of government department and agencies to enact the following emergency measure so that we can comply with the will of Parliament, or at least the Liberal, NDP and Bloc Quebecois parts of parliament.

Immediate shutdown of all coal fired power plants in Canada. We realize that this will hit Ontario very hard – 1/3 of Ontario’s electricity is coal generated, but look on the bright side, the lack of power will also cause the shutdown of thousands of plants and factories, throwing hundreds of thousands out of work. While we are it, we’ll close down all the top ten listed below:

Rank Company Name Province 1 Ontario Power Generation On 2 Transalta Utilities AB 3 Sask Power SK 4 Alberta Power Corp AB 5 Nova Scotia Power Inc NS 6 Syncrude Canada Ltd. AB 7 Suncor Energy inc. Oil Sands AB 8 EPCOR Generation Inc. AB 9 Petro-Canada AB 10 Dofasco Inc. On

Immediate shutdown of the entire Petroleum industry across Canada – we will need to import our oil but we are only going to import oil from countries that will sell us Kyoto Credits.

Immediately ban all wood burning fireplaces, charcoal and propane BBQ’s and summer campfires. All recreational vehicles and activities are deemed frivolous and will be banned. Sorry Bombardier, no more skidoos and water jet boats. We are investigating how to ban forest fires as well, but that has its challenges. No

A 30 cent per liter “GhG Kyoto credit buying Tax. Based on recent data that we use about 45 Billion liters of gasoline every year. This new tax revenue should provide enough money to both buy the $10 billion in foreign credits we need annually and make up for the billions in lost income taxes the Federal and Provincial governments will not collect by the 35% contraction of our economy we need to achieve

We ill not be able to afford generous EI support for all the laid off workers because the numbers could reach in the millions. Shutting down the oil sands alone will result in huge job losses in Alberta, but also in Quebec and Ontario, where tens of thousands of workers make the pipes, valves, machinery, trucks, tires, computers and other equipment that would have been purchased had we not put these actions in place to meet the requirements of the “Pablo Rodriguez Law of Unintended Consequences”.

For the tens of thousands of workers in the Financial sector, we are aware that the mortgage and credit crisis these moves will cause will result in the devastation of your industry as well but we expect that the Barons of Bay street will be able to salvage a few jobs trading in the International Credit Trading Market, or as some have come to call it, the Kyoto Hot Air Credit Socialist Sucking Ponzi Scheme. Hopefully you will be one of the few out of the tens of thousands Financial Sector workers who will get one of these new jobs – you might even make megatonnes of money

Since there will be a huge rise in the number of corporate and personal bankruptcies , our government will be enacting new legislation to simplify the process. Simply nail a sign to your property say “We quit” or for consumer debt, place your cut up credit and bank cards in an envelope. That’s all, no lawyers or courts needed

We will also be reducing the size of the federal government payroll by at least 35% to meet the requirement to keep the budget balanced to the new and much lower levels of government funds.

We will be reducing the Federal government transfer of dollars to the provinces to meet the new fiscal capabilities of Canada’s Federal government. We will leave it up to individual provinces to decide to close schools or hospitals or whatever. It’s a provincial responsibility

Its not all bad news. Canada should be able to save a fortune in Immigration costs. We have a forecast from government experts that Canada will go to last place in the quest for skilled immigrant labour. Somehow they don’t want to come to a country with power shortages, no air conditioning, limited winter heating, no jobs and a devastated economy. Go figure. The USA and Australia will benefit form these immigrants and their skills,

Mr. Speaker, let me close by thanking the Liberals, especially the mega green leader Citoyen Dion, the NDP, under the leadership of Jack “Talban” bin Layton, the Bloc Quebecois and their inspired of Gilles “Hairnet” Duceppe for voting for Bill C288. But especially all Canadians want to thank Liberal Pablo Rodriguez for devastating our economy, depressing our standard of living to upper third world status. As we huddle in the cold and swelter in the summer heat, as we stare at our old car we can’t afford to drive, as we fondly remember how hard it was to get out of bed on a Monday morning to go to the job we used to have, we can take pride in being the best-est, wonderful-est, the most moralist international boy scouts out to help the planet be saved.

Thank you Mr. Speaker

Fred - absolutely perfect. That’s exactly what the Conservatives should do. Table the Plan to Comply - and show how it would devastate the economy.

What stuns me - is that the Liberals, NDP and Bloc must, unless they are living in some induced haze of bliss, know all of this. Therefore - what was their agenda?

Kyoto is leader.

Thanks Fred, I’ve sent this to my Liberal friends (still 2 left)

You’d think our first class MSM would be doing research and investigative reporting to expose the pitfalls of the bill and Kyoto. Aren’t they looking out for Canada and Canadians? Or are they looking after the LPC and liberal/progressive agenda?

Things are unfolding exactly as planned.

Excellent.

Excellent.

Exciting times,No

Will Canadians chivalrously give up their lifestyle for that feel good in the gut feeling that comes from making such a monumental sacrifice in the name of mankind? Stay tuned to your publicly funded broadcaster folks for the latest on this unfolding story . And now a public paid political message from the Official Socialist Opposition….

Thanks Fred, that is great and I have sent it on to all of my e-mail contacts. Perhaps, if everyone does this the idiots who voted for this will be forced to reconsider.

I’ll send Fred’s motion to my Lib MP.

liberal adjenda???the biggest money laundering scam the wold has ever seen !!!

We don’t have to sacrifice our economy to meet these targets. American power companies reckon they can roll back to 1990 levels by expending an additional 2 billion dollars a year over the next 20 years. That works out to about 6 dollars per American per year or 120 dollars each spread over 2 decades.

Somehow I think they’ll pull through somehow.

I’m no mathemetician, but 20 years from now is different than 4 years from now, right?

Jose I can hardly blame you Americans for mocking us Canadians; but the truth is the smartest thing Clinton ever did was not to sign onto Kyoto. Well actually it was your Senate that turned it down, unanimously I think.

You then went ahead and made some serious improvements and consequently you are twice as far down the path to the Kyoto targets that you didn’t agree to but our Liberals foolishly did agree to … but did nothing.

You’re right, Canada can do the same things that you’ve done and eventually catch up. That’s why we need a majority Conservative government.

BTW before you Americans get too smug; remember you almost elected Democrats Gore and Kerry; if you had done that, you’d be in much the same pickle that we’re in … all talk no action.

I can tell you this has been such a wonderful week, rarely have I seen better. The Cons ran these ads on the TV and people said these are attack ads, this is what they look like, see? Not attacks on policy but on a man, even on his personality. Wow, I mean echoes of Chretien’s mug float by. So people said well they are afraid of this guy, so they do these ads…tacky…negative. So now we know the context and the next sound you hear is thuds as the ads hit the floor. Next they do some more of them in French and even talk up the scandal that some say got them elected where they made a fuss that insider information could have come from Liberal politicians, which is pretty rank since the election is over…But then we hear there was an investigation and no Liberal politician did wrong it was a civil servant who has been charged (but not convicted). More thuds.Then one Liberal who was hard hit by those claims wants the Cons to make it right and apologize. But they won’t do it! They keep running the ads! You can hear the rasberries from Coast to Coast!

I hope the Cons do some more of this sort of stuff, as a supporter of Dion I could not be more pleased. I mean more, more, please.

garhane: Your fondest wish will be granted. Please proceed immediately to the Liberal Party website to receive your secret Kaptain Kyoto decoder ring, and instructions for the proper position to assume while singing, “The Good Ship Titanic” in the next election.